


The first time

by geoclaire



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Drug Addiction, Drug Use, F/F, Grief/Mourning, soccercop - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 01:19:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1800190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geoclaire/pseuds/geoclaire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Beth took pills (challenge from lostlittlegirl)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The first time

The first time, the pills are prescription. In her head, that makes it a little better somehow – the painkillers are meant for her, they were prescribed for her, the result of a tussle with a perp who decided to flee as soon as he saw her badge. Art usually took the big ones down, but he’d miscalculated a little and she’d gotten there first, and the guy had gotten in a swing and an elbow or two before she had him on the ground. No big, she got the guy down, just had some blood and a cracked cheekbone for her trouble.

The pain wasn’t as bad as all that, not compared to everything else in her life, but she’d lined up those pills and taken them two at a time like clockwork whether or not she was hurting, right until they ran out and she found herself staring at the empty bottle at odd hours.

(Every other time, the pills were prescription, too, but she’d lied for them – red pills, white pills, blue – and after that she could never convince they were really meant for her to take).

The second time, she’d just wanted to sleep. Between Paul and the knowledge that one of her genetic identicals was coughing up blood – _fuck_ the fucking knowledge that she fucking had fucking genetic identicals – she’d lied her ass off and gotten a script for Temazepan. Beth doubled the doses and slept like a baby for a fortnight. Her stomach lining was trashed, but she’d never had clearer skin.

The third time… the third time she’d held Alison’s hand a little too long, showing her how to hold the gun. She’d corrected Alison’s stance twice, then frustrated, stood behind her and prevented Alison stepping back with her own hips. She’d corrected her stance, moulding her hips to Alison’s ass, and helped her aim the gun, and when Alison squeezed off the first round before either of them were expecting it, she’d inhaled involuntarily and gotten a hint of gunpowder and a whole lot of Alison.

The third time, she’d been thinking that Alison was more muscular than she looked, and that her hair smelled sweet, and that her eyes were somehow lighter, so much lighter than her own.

What a fucking metaphor.

Beth popped the childproof lock, and swallowed her first Xanax down.


End file.
